With a rise in productivity content and in an attempt to create a routine, many individuals are attempting to implement new habits. Some fail to stick with theirs after a few days and some will successfully incorporate theirs into their routine making it their new “normal”. Why such a dichotomy?
Your ability to stick with a habit largely depends on how you chose the habit. That’s right! Before you even set foot in the world of habit building, you need to understand that not all habits are for you. Without proper planning, you set yourself up for inconsistency. That’s a fundamental reason why many fail to be consistent with a certain habit, no matter how beneficial that habit may be. In this article, I will explain how to critically choose habits that are catered to you, and in choosing such a habit you immediately and exponentially increase your chances for being consistent with the habit.
The Fundamental Reason for Inconsistency
We’ve all been there or at the very least we’ve witnessed it around us. Starting a new streak only to succumb to our whims and relapse. Be it a social media detox, a fitness goal, or sticking to some other habit. Why is it so difficult to stay consistent? As mentioned previously, many times the habit you chose, to put it blatantly, is just not meant for you, or at the very least your lack of planning sets you up inconsistency. There may be a few individuals who will convince themselves to be consistent and then remain that way, but for the majority of us, that will simply not work.
Therefore, the fundamental reason for building a consistent habit is to choose it wisely and increase its intensity gradually. Before starting any new habit, you must ask yourself a simple question: is it sustainable?
You must always start a habit from ground zero and move your way up gradually because that is sustainable. Do not overexert yourself on the first day as that would be deemed unsustainable. This rule is mostly for habits that have explicit levels, such as working out, dieting, reading books, etc. In these habits, the levels are well defined. For example, you intend to start inculcating the habit of reading a book. You shouldn’t start by reading one book every day or week. If you do so, you’ve set yourself up for a big disappointment. For someone who is not habituated with reading, that can be a daunting task.
The Vicious Cycle
Let me explain the damage done by setting difficult goals with high expectations. You will fall into a vicious cycle! Let’s begin by naming a daunting task. Let’s take the example of waking up at 5 am every day and working out for one hour shortly thereafter. Bearing in mind that you have never woken up a minute earlier than 7 am and never worked out consistently for more than 2 weeks you are setting yourself up for failure.
From hereon, you will not make it to the end of the week without relapsing a couple of times. Because you’re human after all. Finally, in no time you will discontinue it completely. The saddest and the most harmful part of the cycle is yet to come! This is not how it ends. Rather, when you discontinue the habit you will end it with a specific mentality. You will always look back and see that you failed. This vicious cycle continues for so long until you start believing that you’re inconsistent and that you can never stick with a habit. And you know what? this belief will become a self-fulfilling prophecy!
This is primarily why it’s daunting to begin a habit without proper planning. You must standardize before you can optimize. You must ask yourself the question: is this sustainable? When the answer is yes, and you want to improve on it then ask the following question: has it become my standard?
The incident with the Sahabahؓ
As we already know, the Sahabahؓ would thrive to emulate Rasulullah ﷺ. No matter how trivial the action may sound to us, they would go out of their way to do it. Because of such zeal, the following incident happened.
Rasulullaah ﷺ had a mat on which he would perform salaah during the night (in the month of Ramadhaan) and spread out during the day to sit on. The Sahabahؓ then started flocking to Rasulullaah ﷺ and performing salaah with him (at night). When a large group of people started gathering, he understood their zeal. They wanted to follow him in prayer on these auspicious nights of Ramadan. On a side note, the supererogatory (Nafl) Salaah of Rasulullah ﷺ was no easy feat to complete. It was exceptionally lengthier than when he would perform the obligatory (fardh) salaah in congregation.
Returning to the story. Rasulullah ﷺ noticed that each day an increasing number of sahabahؓ were gathering. He understood them but he’s a leader after all and hence did not let them continue like that. He was not just the prophet of those with a strong will. He had such character, that when he would decide something he would keep even the weakest in his consideration. He considered all this and understood that it was still the beginning of Ramadan, and the companions were filled with zeal and enthusiasm. But, as the days turn into weeks, it might become burdensome for them to continue this routine. Hence, in light of all this, on the 3rd or 4th night, Rasulullah ﷺ turned to them and said 3 statements.
I will mention these three statements and then their brief explanation. Pay close attention to the lessons that can be derived from these statements, it may just change your paradigm, for books can be written for each one of these sentences.
- First Statement
First of all, the moment he saw the Sahabah gathering to join him in prayer in the nights of Ramadan, he said:
“0 people! Adopt those actions that you are capable of carrying out with consistency.”
In the explanation to this hadith of Rasulullah ﷺ, the Scholars of Hadith (Muhaddith) say that this hadith is not restricted to Salaah, rather it includes all good actions. Moreover, Imam Nawawi said: that to implement this rule, one must do those actions with which he’ll be able to be consistent, without it bearing any hardship or difficulty.
The moral learned from this hadith is critical in habit building: you mustn’t start anything without being certain that you’ll be able to stick with it. Again, it’s important to be able to standardize before you can optimize.
- Second Statement
The next words that Rasulullah ﷺ uttered answer the question of who is to blame when the habit is not practiced with consistency.
The meaning of the statement is:
“The reward of your deeds do not stop until you stop the action by getting tired and bored because of it being overburdening”
In the explanation to the above quote, it’s stated that Rasulullah ﷺ is saying: “Do those actions which you’ll be consistent with, because most certainly if you do that action out of lassitude then that very action will become a burden on you!”
In light of the above statement, if I were to ask you, who is to blame for the lack of consistency in your habits, what would your response be? After reading the above hadith it must be clear. We become roadblocks to our own success. Rasulullah ﷺ said that the benefits do not stop until you stop. And what makes you stop? In many cases, it’s the fact that it was too difficult, to begin with! Therefore whenever you start a new habit, make sure that the lack of consistency is not consistent with your lack of proper planning.
- Third statement
Now the third statement is a special one. You might have heard this before. Rasulullah ﷺ said:
The most beloved actions in the eyes of Allah are those that are done with consistency even if the action is small.
This shed light on intensity vs consistency. Which one is better? Intensity will make you go all out or result in you doing a grand action occasionally. Consistency will result in you doing an action, however small, regularly.
The third statement is so singularly important that I will write a separate article on it by the will of Allah. It covers all facets of our life. From our romantic to professional life. What would be a greater act of kindness and love, when a husband does something special occasionally or daily. That small daily act of love may seem insignificant but when combined with other such small daily acts compounds into a love that lasts adversities!
With respect to this statement, Imam Nawawi writes: “The consistent little actions are compounded to an immensely greater return than the actions done with intensity once in a while.”
Understand that successful people do every day what others do occasionally. Therefore, you decide what you want to focus on, intensity or consistency.
Compounded Effect of Consistency
People believe that great success requires great habits and actions. Although that holds true to some degree, it misses a major point. This type of belief creates pressure on oneself. It creates pressure to do something great. And often the decisions are too grand and intense to be consistent with.
This is the law that Allah gave to nature. If you want to climb you must take one step after another. Never will you be able to reach the summit without all the steps required. With each step, you will get closer to your goal. The main point is, how much drive do you have to continue walking. With each step comes the decision to take the next step. Choose your mountain wisely. Because if you pick the wrong one it will break your morale and give the impression that you’re unreliable and incapable of consistency. And that’s the beginning of the vicious cycle.
Every time you start something new the first few days you will be struggling greatly, but at one point it will come naturally. Let me give you my example, which you might be able to relate to. I only started blogging at the beginning of 2021. Writing my first article was tough. For my first couple of articles, it would take me around 6 hours to write half of an article. At present, I can achieve that in 1.5 hours and I’ve only been writing for 3 months.
This goes back to the message of my previous article, beginning with the end in mind. When you start an action or habit, you must do so by visualizing how you want to end it. Once you have that goal in mind, just work your way through the days gradually. And one-day Inshallah you’ll be there.
Conclusion
To conclude, I would like to share with you a final narration of the companions. It has been narrated that whenever the close ones of Rasulullah ﷺ did an action they did it with consistency.
I mentioned many points in this article, but the main point to take home is this: do not start a habit unless you’re 100% sure you’ll be able to be consistent with it. And once you do start, do so gradually and with proper planning. Remember the 6P formula: Prior Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance. Do not fall into the vicious cycle.
I would like to reiterate that the greatest risk of not following the above principles is that you’ll start believing yourself incapable of consistency. Because all you did was start a new habit only to stop it a couple of days, or at best, weeks later.
Now that you have learned the principles outlined by Rasulullah ﷺ, never start a new habit without proper planning and standardize before you optimize.
Disclaimer
The principles mentioned in this article do not apply to actions with necessitate immediate action. For example, starting to pray the 5 fard salaat. If one does not have the habit of praying these 5 obligatory salaat then starting gradually is not an option, rather one should start praying, at the very least, these 5 salaat immediately.
The principles mentioned in this article cannot be used as an excuse for not starting beneficial new habits or breaking an addiction.
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