Allah says in the Quran (27:73): “Verily, your Sustainer is indeed limitless in His bounty unto mankind – but most of them are bereft of gratitude.” This ayah goes to show that you are surrounded by countless blessings. And that is a fact, whether one believes it or not. The rapid increase in depressed individuals indicates that people naturally focus more on what they don’t as opposed to what they have. The key to happiness is being grateful for what you have and being content with it.
This phenomenon, of focusing on the negative rather than the positive, is an effect studied by psychologists. This article will shed light on it. As the saying of Abdullah ibn Umarؓ goes:
Iman is made of two halves: half of it is patience and the other half is gratitude.
Therefore, gratitude should play an important role in your life. Deen teaches us to be grateful for what we have and saying Alhamdulillah for those bounties.
I will first start by explaining the phenomenon mentioned earlier, focusing on the negative, which neurologists refer to as a negativity bias.
Hedonic Adaptation
Positive psychologists, Sonja Lyubomirsky and others, have done some eye-opening research and created the term Hedonic Adaptation to define the notion that although you may have a privileged life or experience you will eventually take it for granted. For example, you buy a new car and the first few months you drive the car with an air of excitement. However, that enthusiasm begins to wear when you become accustomed to the car or notice how common and ordinary it is.
This pattern could produce the same results for many personal milestones: a new promotion, buying a new house, etc. Whatever object or feeling that you so longingly coveted, once achieved becomes an ordinary part of life, and that initial excitement begins to fade away. In other words, that once enthralling moment eventually becomes your new normal, and your happiness level with respect to that memory, object, or milestone decreases. Something that made you feel grateful at one time eventually makes you feel ordinary.
What researchers call Hedonic Adaptation and neurologists call Negativity Bias are systems placed by none other than Allah. In many places in the Quran Allah presents a blessing then mentions individuals being ungrateful for that blessing. One of the many Ayahs with regards to this is the following (23:78): “It is He who has endowed you with hearing, and sight, and minds: [yet] how seldom are you grateful!” In another instance, he said: “Very few from My slaves are thankful.”
Why are they not grateful for these abilities? Is it because we’re too habituated with it? Is it because it’s our normal?
How To Overcome Hedonic Adaptation
These statements from Allah display that showing gratitude is a quality of very few and countless times Allah speaks highly of that group.
Now that we know of this effect called Hedonic Adaptation. The main question is, what can we do to keep the same level of excitement perpetually. How can you fight this Negativity Bias and be amongst the elite group of individuals who show gratitude to Allah?
There are so many blessings that are taken for granted. Aishaؓ once said:
Gratitude is binding on the person who drinks even plain water that enters his body without difficulty and then exits without difficulty.
From this statement, you can understand the importance of showing gratitude even for a mundane act, which you do without putting much thought into.
In order to show and have the habit of showing gratitude, you must fight that natural inclination to let your contentment decrease. How do you do that? Constantly say Alhamdulillah. Let me elaborate!
You’ll notice that the Duas that you read before or after eating, sleeping, using the washroom, and upon many other occasions, usually start with Alhamdulillah. For example, the dua of waking up, which translates to: “All praise is to Allah (a form of showing gratitude) who gave us life after giving us death and to him is the resurrection.”
Gratitude In Daily life
The main point is the fact that this dua is NOT read only once in a lifetime! Rather it’s repeated daily, every single time you wake up you should “ideally” read this dua. Deen is teaching you an important lesson here. For the blessings and privileges you have, it’s not enough only to show gratitude once, rather you should actively show gratitude on a daily basis.
If you’re amongst those who are habituated with reading these Duas, then do so with focus. Do not simply read the Arabic without understanding its translation. Truly emphasize the words Alhamdulillah in your mind, and feel that you’re grateful for these blessings.
There is nothing more effective in taking bounties away than ingratitude for them. Gratitude ensures that bounties are safe from change and is a means for them to increase and grow
umar ibn khattabؓ
You must practice deliberate gratitude as taught by Deen. Deliberately saying Alhamdulillah and vocally saying why you’re grateful is precisely what Deen teaches you. The main reason why this goes unnoticed is that you were most probably initially taught these Duas in Arabic and continue to read and recite them in Arabic without understanding the true meaning of these words. From now on, read these Duas mindfully.
Everyone Has Something To be Grateful For
There’s a very intriguing Persian proverb:
I cursed the fact I had no shoes until I met the man who had no feet.
I may not know what blessings you possess but what I do know is there are many that you’re not acknowledging. It’s all about perception. You choose the lens with which you want to see your world and life. When you choose to focus on the negative, remember you are the one in control of those lenses. If all you FOCUS on is the negative then all you will SEE is the negative!
The following hadith refers to just that. Rasulullah ď·ş said while giving a sermon:
Whoever is ungrateful for a little will be ungrateful for a lot and whoever does not express gratitude to people will not express gratitude to Allah. Speaking about Allah’s bounties denote gratitude while not doing so is tantamount to ingratitude.
This hadith proves mainly two points. First of all, showing gratefulness in small and trivial things will result in you showing gratitude when most needed (for bigger events) or when you’re depressed and need to start focusing on the positive. However, if you never practiced the habit of showing deliberate gratitude then when most needed you won’t be able to do so. Second of all, the hadith emphasizes on SPEAKING about the blessings and bounties of Allah. Rasulullah ﷺ said that when you vocalize your gratitude, then you’ll be grateful.
Therefore, if we revisit the earlier example of buying a new car, based on what you’ve learned so far, how can you keep the same level of happiness after many years of driving the same car? The answer is, to make the habit of showing deliberate gratitude on a regular basis and most importantly vocalizing it.
Importance Of Showing Gratitude
Luqman Al-HakeemŘ‘ which translates to “Luqman, The Wise” is someone Allah mentions in the Quran. Allah says that he gave Luqman wisdom. When he is introduced as having obtained Hikmat (Wisdom), can you guess what the first of his qualities is mentioned? It’s gratitude. Imaam Raazi in his magnum opus Tafseer Al-Kabeer says:
Showing gratitude is the most important of all things, hence wisdom demands one to have gratitude ingrained in them.
Imam raazi
One of the greatest benefits of gratitude is mentioned in the following Ayah (14:7):
If you are grateful, surely I will give you more
Probably the best explanation comes from Aliؓ, who said: “Every bounty should be followed by gratitude, and gratitude is followed by an increase (in the bounty). Gratitude and an increase in bounties are directly proportional to each other. Therefore, Allaah will never stop increasing the bounties on His servant until the servant stops being grateful.”
Conclusion
The fact of the matter is, everyone, understands that gratitude is important and holds numerous benefits. So why then are there only a handful (as mentioned in the Quran) who show gratitude? As mentioned before, it’s because of the Negativity Bias that we have. This bias and the effect researchers call Hedonic Adaptation is what makes it so difficult for us to focus on the extraordinary in the ordinary. Â
You must choose to clean your lens and see the world from the lens of gratitude. Fight the urge to let your enthusiasm settle. Practice deliberate gratitude. Deen teaches you to show gratitude to Allah every day that you wake up, not once or twice. Similarly, you need to vocalize your gratitude for all your other blessings. You must spot the extraordinary in the ordinary. If you practice the above, you’ll no longer have a Negativity Bias but rather an inclination towards optimism.Â
very nice