People thrive on influencing the people around them in some shape or form. We feel great when someone listens to our advice when our voice is being heard. We enjoy the feeling of knowing someone based their decision on our sound advice. If someone were to inform us that we were the reason they recovered from depression, we would be elated to hear that. If they informed us that we helped them through the darkest moments of their life, we’d be content to hear that. Their one line of appreciation will make us forget about the struggle involved for us in helping them.
This is the power of impacting the lives of others. And like all power, in good hands, it can elevate you to heights you have never imagined, but the inverse holds true too. If not used correctly, it can degrade you to the point that you will be shunned by everyone who comes across you. If you’re a CEO, a leader, a manager, or an employer and you don’t know how to deal with the people around you, this might indicate the beginning of the end of your company or your authority. This is why understanding human behavior is so important.
Rasulullah ﷺ Was Like A Magnet
In all walks of life, you have to be a magnet that attracts other people towards you. They must feel comfortable with you. They must feel safe in sharing their secrets with you. People should be drawn towards you and not away from you. For example, many times, the older the children get the more they disassociate from their parents. Why is that? Who is to blame? It all depends on the type of individual you are. Whether it be your parents or your children, are you a magnet that attracts people?
Look at the life of Rasulullah ﷺ. The best person to ever walk the earth. The last messenger, the seal of prophethood. The role model for humanity. How was he treated by the people around him? How much respect did he receive from his peers and his companions? Rasulullah ﷺ was very dear to the Sahabah. On countless occasions, they’ve expressed that he was more dear to them than their own mothers. They would happily sacrifice their lives if it meant saving the life of Rasulullah ﷺ. An example of that is when a famous Sahabi, Khubaybؓ, was being crucified and tortured by the enemies of Islam, he was asked by one of the torturers, “O Khubayb wouldn’t you rather want to have Muhammad in your shoes right here and you be in the comfort of your family and home?” He replied by saying: “I would rather be here and die than to see a thorn prick the foot of Rasulullah ﷺ!”
Ask yourself this question why would these men admire Rasulullah ﷺ to such an extent. Of course, he introduced Islam to them which is ultimately the means of salvation for oneself, but that’s not all. Rasulullah ﷺ had an excellent character. It has been narrated that he said: “I have been sent for the perfection of good conduct.” People were attracted and drawn towards Rasulullah ﷺ because of his distinctive traits. And sure enough, we can bring these traits into our lives to leave an impact on the lives of those who surround us. There will be many traits that we will explore in later articles, this one will focus on one, the harm of judging someone!
A Hadith Of Rasulullah ﷺ With Respect To Judging
There is a very famous and astonishing hadith of Rasulullah ﷺ. He tells us the story of two friends from the descendant of prophet Ya’qub (alayhis salaam). This story will show you the harm that judging brings in relationships. How it destroys them and ultimately harms the judger themselves.
The story, in the words of Rasulullah ﷺ, goes: There were two friends from the descendant of prophet Ya’qub (alayhis salaam); one of them was sinful and the other was devout. Whenever the devout saw his friend committing a sin, he would tell him: refrain from it. One day, when he saw him committing a sin, he told him to desist from it. The sinful said: Leave me to my Lord. Have you been sent as my supervisor? The devout-one said: I swear by Allah! Allah will not forgive you or you will not be sent to Paradise. When both of them died, they were raised before the Lord of the Universe. Allah asked the devout: Did you know about me or did you acquire my authority and stop me from forgiving the sinful? So, Allah said to the sinful: Go and enter into Paradise by the grace of My Mercy, and commanded (the angels) about the devout: Take him to the Fire.
A side note on the Hadith: it does not imply that one should dare to commit sins. The sinful was forgiven by the Mercy of Allah, but it is not necessary that every sinful person be treated in the same manner. As a principle, there is a punishment for every sin. Nor does this mean that people should not be stopped from doing evil and wrongdoings. In the Qur’an and hadith, there are hundreds of verses where we are commanded to stop people from doing evil; and warnings against not forbidding evil. However, the message to be conveyed here is that a pious person should neither rely on his own good deeds, nor pass judgments on the sinful, nor consider themselves to be superior to them.
Principle learned
The fundamental principle learned in this teaching of Rasulullah ﷺ is the fact that judging someone brings nothing more than harm to oneself. In the story, the pious person judged the sinful. This judging brought him only harm. He passed judgment on him before Allah judged him worthy of Hell or Paradise. There’s a reason why the day of judgment is called as such. Because that is the “day” of judgment and all judgment done before that is meaningless. Therefore, don’t start judging individuals before the day of judgment, and even on that day, you’ll have to leave the judging to Allah. No one will be accountable for the judgment made by the people of this world. To put it plainly, our judgments don’t matter. What you might think of someone means nothing. When all is said and done, that person may very well be levels above you in Jannah.
It is much more noble to let people judge themselves than to judge them. When you judge someone unfavorably then you unequivocally find them guilty of something. This guilt translates to you justifying your anger, resentment, or other negative emotions towards them.
Harms Of Passing Judgments
There are numerous drawbacks to passing judgment. One of which, even though it might not be evident, is that judgmentalism actually brings negativity and unhappiness to yourself. When you judge others you’re putting yourself above the other individual. This behavior of yours will make them feel inferior to you causing them to have negative feelings towards you.
Judging someone will also result in you being emotional. And as you may have noticed, emotions distort our objectivity and evaluation. the more you judge the more you’ll be emotionally charged and the angrier and negative you’ll get.
Conclusion
As a leader, manager, parent, or friend you’ll come to many situations where you’ll have the choice to judge someone. At that point, apply the principle taught by Rasulullah ﷺ and refrain from doing so. Visualize that you literally have something in your hands and you’re dropping it, letting it go. It’s as easy as that. You have the choice. If you really want to impact someone’s life on a larger scale then don’t judge them. Make this a practice in your life not to judge anyone for anything. This may be difficult at first but you’ll certainly get better over time. Remember that sometimes the people with the worst past create the best future.